Cute Animals. Bad Dates.

These are actual quotes taken from online dating profiles and Craigslist personal ads. Brought to you by cute animals, because that makes everything that much better.
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Posts tagged "unclear on the concept"
To be fair, it is hard to type when one lacks opposable thumbs. 

To be fair, it is hard to type when one lacks opposable thumbs. 

Low self-esteem fish has low self-esteem. And also doesn’t understand quotation marks. 

Yeah, it’s hard to believe this toad doesn’t already have a girlfriend. 

Yeah, it’s hard to believe this toad doesn’t already have a girlfriend. 

Something tells me his Saturday nights aren’t actually that busy, either. 

Something tells me his Saturday nights aren’t actually that busy, either. 

Cheer up! You’re a panda, and there is basically not one girl on earth who would turn down a panda. 

Hearts will break all over the world when word of this prize specimen of manhood’s marriage strike gets out. 

Hearts will break all over the world when word of this prize specimen of manhood’s marriage strike gets out. 

IT DOESN’T END WHEN WILL IT END OMG THE HORROR WTF IS GOING ON WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM ME????????
(however: points for appropriate use of an apostrophe. I have to admit I wasn’t expecting that)
Also: 300 followers! Yay people! 

IT DOESN’T END WHEN WILL IT END OMG THE HORROR WTF IS GOING ON WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM ME????????

(however: points for appropriate use of an apostrophe. I have to admit I wasn’t expecting that)

Also: 300 followers! Yay people! 

So, you’re looking for a 14-year-old girl to sleep with, marry, and then kill yourself over in the space of a week or so? Gotcha.