Cute Animals. Bad Dates.

These are actual quotes taken from online dating profiles and Craigslist personal ads. Brought to you by cute animals, because that makes everything that much better.
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Please tell me you don’t have a library card. 

Please tell me you don’t have a library card. 

Dude. Breathe. This isn’t twitter. You’re not going to run into character limits if you use a period every once in a while. 

She “blamed it on her parents, religion, culture, everything” but I know the truth. She was just jealous of my Santa hat. 

She “blamed it on her parents, religion, culture, everything” but I know the truth. She was just jealous of my Santa hat. 

I … can’t even. Feel free to come up with your own joke. It’s been a long week. 

I apologize if this offends anyone. I’m just the messenger, people, and I couldn’t not share. 

I apologize if this offends anyone. I’m just the messenger, people, and I couldn’t not share. 

Happy Friday, everyone! No better way to celebrate the weekend then some nice clothing-optional lounging about on the couch, right? 

Happy Friday, everyone! No better way to celebrate the weekend then some nice clothing-optional lounging about on the couch, right? 

From Craigslist. Of course.

(Thanks, Kate K.!)

From Craigslist. Of course.

(Thanks, Kate K.!)

There’s a continuum that goes between Robin Williams and Alyssa Milano?