Cute Animals. Bad Dates.

These are actual quotes taken from online dating profiles and Craigslist personal ads. Brought to you by cute animals, because that makes everything that much better.
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Posts tagged "squirrel"

You know what’s another lifestyle choice? Not dating judgmental douchecanoes like you, asshole.

Dude. Breathe. This isn’t twitter. You’re not going to run into character limits if you use a period every once in a while. 

I ADMIRE THE SENTIMENT BUT WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME? 

I ADMIRE THE SENTIMENT BUT WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME? 

Apparently when the Democratic National Convention is in town, fine upstanding Republican squirrels decide it’s time to reach across the aisle. 
If you know what I mean.

Apparently when the Democratic National Convention is in town, fine upstanding Republican squirrels decide it’s time to reach across the aisle. 

If you know what I mean.

"Maybe I’d have more success on one of those fetish sites. I bet I could find someone to feed me." 

"Maybe I’d have more success on one of those fetish sites. I bet I could find someone to feed me." 

IT DOESN’T END WHEN WILL IT END OMG THE HORROR WTF IS GOING ON WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM ME????????
(however: points for appropriate use of an apostrophe. I have to admit I wasn’t expecting that)
Also: 300 followers! Yay people! 

IT DOESN’T END WHEN WILL IT END OMG THE HORROR WTF IS GOING ON WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM ME????????

(however: points for appropriate use of an apostrophe. I have to admit I wasn’t expecting that)

Also: 300 followers! Yay people! 

Really, the only thing bad about this is the unnecessary quotation marks. It’s just an excuse to post a picture of a squirrel holding a cherry. Because it’s a squirrel! Holding a cherry! 

Really, the only thing bad about this is the unnecessary quotation marks. It’s just an excuse to post a picture of a squirrel holding a cherry. Because it’s a squirrel! Holding a cherry! 

Yeah, GEEZ.