Cute Animals. Bad Dates.

Dude. Breathe. This isn’t twitter. You’re not going to run into character limits if you use a period every once in a while. 

If you really want to seem more sophisticated and classy, I’d suggest a touch less defensiveness, and maybe dial back the xenophobia a little. 

“Maybe I’d have more success on one of those fetish sites. I bet I could find someone to feed me.” 

This raises so many questions, not the least of which being, does butter not fall under the “food” category? 

*This picture was tagged “hamster” by someone who says it is her hamster and her cat. Regardless, having once been called out by That is Not a Hamster, I make no claims as to whether or not that is actually a hamster in said image. It looks kind of like a gerbil to me, frankly.