Cute Animals. Bad Dates.

These are actual quotes taken from online dating profiles and Craigslist personal ads. Brought to you by cute animals, because that makes everything that much better.
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The milk’s gone bad!  

Yeah, and that hair is all yours, I bet. 
(This is more advice from the dude who also offered up yesterday’s pearl of wisdom.)

Yeah, and that hair is all yours, I bet. 

(This is more advice from the dude who also offered up yesterday’s pearl of wisdom.)

Merry Christmas! I am so desperate I am posting on Craigslist just so I won’t be alone on the holiday! 

To be fair, it is hard to type when one lacks opposable thumbs. 

To be fair, it is hard to type when one lacks opposable thumbs. 

Online dating is not likely to improve that feeling. I recommend alcohol. 

Love truly is blind.
As long as you can pay for dinner. 

Love truly is blind.

As long as you can pay for dinner. 

I am so super-impressed by your ability to “get money” that I will overlook your poor grammar and totally go out with you. 

I am so super-impressed by your ability to “get money” that I will overlook your poor grammar and totally go out with you. 

Thanks for the warning. Next! 

Thanks for the warning. Next!