Cute Animals. Bad Dates.

These are actual quotes taken from online dating profiles and Craigslist personal ads. Brought to you by cute animals, because that makes everything that much better.
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Yeah, and that hair is all yours, I bet. 
(This is more advice from the dude who also offered up yesterday’s pearl of wisdom.)

Yeah, and that hair is all yours, I bet. 

(This is more advice from the dude who also offered up yesterday’s pearl of wisdom.)

For some reason I’m not convinced this guy is throwing an actual party. 

As long as you don’t sparkle in sunlight, Count Hedgehogula, we’re good. 

I don’t even know what this means, but I’m guessing “hipster douche” is part of the explanation. 
Happy Halloween! 

I don’t even know what this means, but I’m guessing “hipster douche” is part of the explanation. 

Happy Halloween! 

Maybe the time to talk about fetishes is after the first date. 

Maybe the time to talk about fetishes is after the first date. 

Dude, all I said was “nice costume.” Way to harsh the Halloween buzz. 

Dude, all I said was “nice costume.” Way to harsh the Halloween buzz. 

Shhh. No one tell him he’s adorable, just act scared.

Happy Halloween from CABD! 

Shhh. No one tell him he’s adorable, just act scared.

Happy Halloween from CABD! 

It’s “if Star Wars WERE real,” Darth Puppy.
The subjunctive: learn it, use it, love it.
ETA: The subjunctive isn’t about singular vs plural. Read the explanation at the link, please. 

It’s “if Star Wars WERE real,” Darth Puppy.

The subjunctive: learn it, use it, love it.

ETA: The subjunctive isn’t about singular vs plural. Read the explanation at the link, please.