Cute Animals. Bad Dates.

These are actual quotes taken from online dating profiles and Craigslist personal ads. Brought to you by cute animals, because that makes everything that much better.
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The milk’s gone bad!  

I’ll be right over. 

He’s actually proof that some people will tell themselves anything in order to convince themselves that their lack of romantic success isn’t about them personally. 

Sorry to disappoint you, but sap is all that will be rising. 

Sorry to disappoint you, but sap is all that will be rising. 

Of course she does, baby aardvark. Of course. 

It’s ok, polar bear. Embrace your unmanly fear of birds. Don’t let patriarchal expectations of manhood define you. 

Don’t forget, you can now purchase classic CABD images as greeting cards! If you like CABD, it would be awesome if you would help support its continued existence! 

Class: you keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. 

I’m willing to bet this one thinks of himself as a really nice guy. He probably owns a fedora, too. 

P.S. *loathe.

Also, *then.