Cute Animals. Bad Dates.

These are actual quotes taken from online dating profiles, Craigslist personal ads, and messages received through dating sites. Brought to you by cute animals, because that makes the realization of who is actually out there in the dating pool slightly less depressing.

Recent Tweets @baddateanimals

It really cannot be said enough: PROOFREAD YOUR PROFILE. Seriously.

Bunnies like strawberry milkshakes. Like you get at McDonald’s, with the chunks of fruit in them that didn’t quite get blended up.

I mean, who ever heard of a bunny drinking a CHOCOLATE milkshake?

“Also with chunks of fruit in the bottom that get stuck in the straw.”

Deputy rescues 7 ducklings from storm drain and then helps them cross road →

Seven ducklings are back with their mother after a Washtenaw County Sheriff’s Office deputy rescued them from a Scio Township storm drain.

Potential occasional feature: Honorary Cute Animals, Good Dates of the Day. Inspired by Deputy Joe, here, of the Washtenaw County Mich. Sheriff’s Department. This potential Good Date spent TWO HOURS getting a family of ducklings out of a storm drain, reunited them with their mom, and then escorted them across a busy road.

You go, Joe.

Update: Two years ago Deputy Joe also saved a guy from drowning.

Or use particles.

I don’t really want to date Gandhi, though.

I’m going to have to decline your request for a date. I could never keep up the pace.

Thanks for the warning. Next!