Cute Animals. Bad Dates.

These are actual quotes taken from online dating profiles and Craigslist personal ads. Brought to you by cute animals, because that makes everything that much better.
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This is one of those cases where you really can’t claim irony to get out of being racist. Sorry. 

This is one of those cases where you really can’t claim irony to get out of being racist. Sorry. 

Nothing wrong with working out. Everything wrong with talking about bicep curls in your online dating profile. Sorry, kitty. 

The milk’s gone bad!  

I’ll be right over. 

He’s actually proof that some people will tell themselves anything in order to convince themselves that their lack of romantic success isn’t about them personally. 

Sorry to disappoint you, but sap is all that will be rising. 

Sorry to disappoint you, but sap is all that will be rising. 

Of course she does, baby aardvark. Of course. 

It’s ok, polar bear. Embrace your unmanly fear of birds. Don’t let patriarchal expectations of manhood define you. 

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